chiner bonfire party in progress - can you spot me?
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As promised, ladies n gents, the distinctly vomit-inducing chinese techno party mix. This makes a great workout playlist if you want to kill yourself. If you’ve traveled around the old Chiner at all beyond the obvious places you should recognize a few of these timeless classics.
(Note: for most of these I’m not sure who’s responsible, so if you happen to know the ‘artist,’ comment with the name and I’ll edit in the bastard)
1. Soldier of Fortune
This one shall forever remain my aerial portal into the blacklit limbo of BAR CLUB DISCO – the aptly named sole bar, club, and disco in Chengde – the fancy fruit plates, bouncy dance floor, smoke everywhere, and a shit ton of asians with voluminous haircuts in teal and black striped chinglishized tshirts. You can’t claim you’ve been around Chiner properly if you haven’t heard it.
2. da muzika something something..diskoteken
This song is perfect for the Chinese torso-bang: keep arms at sides, feet firmly planted on the floor, your back straight, and bend at the waist from side to side (your head would be drawing half-circles back and forth) really fucking fast. the lower you dip your upper body with each beat, the more impressive you look to the ladies – trust me.
3. The song labeled "really fucking chinese" on my iTunes
Also pretty good for torso-banging.
4. God is a Girl – ORIGINAL MIX
God is a girl, wherever you are, do you believe it, can you receive it? the lyrical brilliance-dripping original version, which is worth a mention if only to observe the oh so chinese remix effect
5. God is a Girl – CHINESE REMIX
the chinese remix effect: speed everything up to 150 bpm, make certain the vocals are properly screechy, pepper with samples like “let’s go” and “dj rock that funky beat,” and repeat for about 5 minutes.
6. Dragostea Din Tei – CHINESE REMIX
Get out your ear douche.
7. No no. No no no no. No no no no. No no no no Limit.
Do not listen if epileptic.
8. Sexo sexo sexo
This one’s sorta embarrassing to listen to.
9. Faces faces everywhere
This one’s pretty intense.
10. Big Beat Jam #1
The stuff of Germany in the 90s. Ein-zwei-polizei on crack.
11. Big Beat Jam #2
See above
12. My Samurai
Where’s my samurai?
13. ancient french disco tune the china can't seem to get over
14. Can't Get You out of my Head – chinered
Lastly, the obligatory Kylie butchery.
Bonus material for when your authentic chiner party goes into overtime:
15. come on baby baby, you so crazy crazy, do you happy happy?
I love this song so much. It’s got that perfect asian pop hook mmmhmmm.
16. The Flowers – Xi Shua shua
Classic.
17. some ridiculous japanese song.. she wants you to mail her
Further side items (the songs to play alongside “heaven” and “ymca” at the end of the party):
18. Ole ole ole ole. We are the champions.
I suggest you knock back some baijiu, blast this shit and get down like this-
when in chiner
Let me know if you want mp3’s of any of these. I won’t judge. (EDIT: aight, right-click/save-as)
In other news, I finally made meself a carbonmade folio – http://anakova.carbonmade.com/ It’s super classy and legit, so you can show it to your grandma.
And THIS is making me wish I was a tall skinny dude with fat bank account real bad.
